We have eyes, but do we truly see? Have you noticed the patterns around you? Can you leave a scene and reiterate the details? Do you remember the places in your dreams?
If so, how did you get to that place? If not, do you wish to gain superior sight?
From my perspective, a decent amount of beings are living in a mental state. Mental state – moving through life from thought, thought patterns and ideas.
We hear the movements we make before we move. We analyze our observations. We narrate our lives. The narrator: The voice that recaps what you are doing while you are doing it. The same voice that justifies your actions. I feel that a majority of folks live in the explanation of their observations.
BUT; there is more…
I have found myself living blindly. I even named my plant Sheila. Turns out that name derives from the word blind. Well, at least that is what I found when I first searched the name. Now, I am seeing results that say much more.
Which brings me to the theory that we see what we need to see when we MUST see it. There was a time in my life when I was contemplating my ‘blindness.’ I had an interaction with an elder who spoke to me of seeing energy. He could tell me the colors of people, parks, areas in town, plants and animals. I do not say I believe in the colors he was seeing; I do say I believe the ability to see colored energy. I was able to as a child. I use to watch vibrant blobs float around my room as I laid in bed. I believe I only saw them while I was laying down. Why? Hmmm, maybe because I had nothing else to focus on. I was a child with no responsibility. As I grew, I stopped seeing the colors and slowing began to focus on material thoughts. It started with:
“Does he like me?” and evolved to “Fuck, I have bills to pay but I want to go out and eat.”
The basic ‘human’ instincts began to fill my mind and I lost focus on the brilliant colors that were always with me. Have you ever seen colors floating around or the aura of another being? A profound experience, now that I see what it is like without it.
Was it important that I saw color as a child? Do I have the ability to do that as an adult? Answers that may have no importance, and I continue to ask because I have fun thinking. Thought becomes weird when I begin to persistently see what I think about. Before my plant Sheila was given to me, I was considering the idea what I was blind. I had that thought ever since I met the man who spoke to me of the energy in the park we were enjoying.
I believe I was blind. I named my plant Sheila. I looked up the name and the first link I came across said the name meant blind. The first point I want to make is that of laziness. I was too indolent to read past the first link I had come across. Immediately I took the definition as exactly what I needed in that moment. Maybe it was, or maybe it was myself playing a joke on myself. “Hahaa, let me see if I can get myself to believe I am blind.”
I do believe there is more to see beyond the surface, like reading between the lines. I plan to have children in my future. When I do, I will let them tell me what they see. I will ask them for answers. I do not want to teach my children words; I hope they can teach me. I know this sounds absurd, but I deeply believe this is possible.
Sometimes I am thankful for not seeing what I hear to be around me… I feel it could interrupt my human-ly focus. (this is a topic I am creating a science fiction book on)
xoxox, an unanswered question