When I left a guy I dated for two years, I was lost and confused. I needed answers. He gave me some, but it was not enough to fill the cracks in my mind where The Wild Things wonder.

As time passed and I let go of the idea of hearing from him what I hoped to understand, I began to meet guys like him. Some had the same name, some with the same tone of voice, others with similar desires and one with similar trauma. Through these men, I learned who he was.

I learned who I was. I saw what attracted me to him. I saw myself and now I have seen how much I have grown.

This is why I no longer fret when an acquaintance makes a comment that I do not understand. I have stopped the loop of over thinking. I allow my mind to hold a place for the answer to arrive at the right time.

I use to mentally drain myself regretting the questions I never asked. (Because of an obsession for Truth) Now I realize I have two options:

Leave my pride behind to ASK
Patiently wait for the answer to arrive without exhausting energy wondering what it could be

Lemme tell ya, it was NOT an easy ride. In fact, I was stuck on a one loop roller coaster and the conductor left forgetting I was aboard. I had to figure out how to unfasten the belt and fly.

xoxox, every day I’m learning

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