Realizing and Balancing the Feminine and Masculine

For the past year I have asked what it is that makes me run from women and gravitate toward one-track-minded men. I read The Celestine Prophecy and that question was answered…

It all dates back to my childhood. As a young girl, I was attracted to my father’s energy to fulfill what I did not know how to tap into. He left my family when I was four and I was forced to step into that energy to give my young sisters what they also needed. My mother did not like that… in her defense, she has no conscious understanding of how energy exchanges work. Nor does she know we all have the ability to tap into Source Energy, which is feminine and masculine.

I spent most of my adolescent hiding from my mother because she drained me of energy. I can finally grasp the concept of a Phoenix rising from its ashes or a cat having Nine lives.

Long story, short-ish… I still have open, deep wounds that resulted from the energy exchanges with my mother. Which is why I find it so easy to run away from feminine energy. Sometimes I feel it is impossible for me to show other women unconditional love. Honestly, I am not sure that I know what it feels like to be in feminine energy…

On top of that, because I was longing for my father to teach me what masculine energy felt like and he left… I began looking for males to complete my circle.

As I am growing in this Twin Flame Ascension journey, I have lost the idea of needing a man to complete me and I have stepping into Divine Masculine Energy. It feels more comfortable for me. I believe this is why men are easily attracted to me, because I reflect what they already have. I also believe this is why women retract from me; I reflect what they feel around men in a woman’s body…

xoxox, completing my circle

3 thoughts on “Realizing and Balancing the Feminine and Masculine”

  1. I came to some kind of similar realization not long ago, though flipped around, about my feminine side. My father also left when I was 4 and I basically became the man of the house, though I noticed as I got older and learned more about the balance or striving for harmony of the masculine and feminine within us all, that she indeed played the role of both parents (unsurprisingly) and had kind of automatically filled the masculine role much of the time (and still very feminine). I’ve had an attraction to strong women with masculine personality/leadership traits throughout most of my closest relationships, including a few disproportionate ones… and realizing my own feminine side (largely I think connected with having been raised by and growing up with mainly females, actually most of my extended family has also been female, in addition to my inherent traits) helped me realize I don’t need a female to complete me, especially the extremes in dominating degrees and those who seemed to need “rescuing”, appealing to my masculine/”hero” side. This is just part of the ongoing process in which I’ve become less quick to jump into relationships and appreciate friendships with the opposite sex more, while also understanding the motivations and nuances of the opposite sex more than I used to, also helping my patience. Very profound insight you discovered there.

    1. Thank you for sharing Jason. My family also has a majority of females. I have a theory that is because we are in the process of learning/integrating feminine energy in these generations of our family line. How do you feel about that subject?

  2. Also, I really need to read that book. I started reading it when my “awakening” began in 2004-05, and it felt like one of the main triggers along with about a dozen other pivotal books. It drew me and seemed super “in tune” and I’ve heard many times since that it is that kind of life changing book, but for some reason I haven’t returned to it or gotten a hold of it since then. I’m sure it will fall into my lap when the time is right. And I’m feeling the kind of vibes I felt back when I started it again lately… Hmmm, that was also around the spring equinox.

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