There it was…a green rattle snake in the middle of the First Creek path at Red Rock Canyon. My reaction was unlike that of mortals, but before I get into that, let me tell you what I was doing at Red Rock.
I had a feeling. I needed to collect my own water. It had to be from a fresh water creek and I had to get it NOW. I called my boyfriend at the time:
“Hi so I decided we need to start collecting our water from Red Rock. I found a yellow cart on Craigslist. I will need you to pick it up after work. It will be $80. You might be able to talk them down.”
“What? I don’t want to collect water.”
“Listen, I have a feeling we need to do this. I already told the guy you would pick up the cart. Please do that. If you don’t want to come with me to get the water, that is fine.”
Ok, so that conversation was close to 3 years ago and may not be quoted to the exact words, but it is close. He came home with the cart. I grabbed our four empty five gallon water jugs…
“I am going tonight. Will you come with me please? I don’t want to go alone.”
“Tonight!? No, I don’t want to go.”
“PLEASE??? I do not want to go alone.”
“I don’t even want to get water from Red Rock. I am fine paying for our water.”
“Listen, I need to go and I don’t want to go alone. I will carry the basket by myself. Please, just come with me.”
After some begging, he agreed to come along. He also made it clear he would not be helping. But, I was determined to follow this feeling.
Holy shit, it was more difficult than my gut feeling made it seem. I lugged the cart 5 miles down the trail to a spot I determined was safe for drinking after I heard frogs confirming the thought. I filled all four water jugs to the top; that is TWENTY gallons of water. 167 POUNDS! Then, I lugged that damn cart 5 miles BACK to the car.
This is the first time I am doing the math to find out the weight and the amount I had to walk. So, could you imagine that? I was a small girl at the time. Nearly no muscle or fat on my body. I was not eating meat. In fact, my diet was dried fruit, veggies and marijuana.
Guess what…he stuck to his word and didn’t help! I mean, he had to when we came across rocks that I literally could not pull the cart over myself.
We made it back to the beginning of the path, a rocky upward slope (from my current point of view). I asked him to run ahead and get the dogs in the car. This slope was the last test and I failed at a higher percentage than I had won. I cried, screamed and felt what could have been the worst anxiety of my life. I couldn’t make it up the hill alone and there I was, IN THE DARK OF NIGHT, trying to get roughly 170 pounds up a rocky slope.
Three men were coming up behind me, making my anxiety worse. They offered help, but my pride and negative energy refused it. They moved along as my boyfriend made his way back to help.
The tears were streaming down and I felt no amount of release when we made it up.
WHY did I choose to do that?!
Fast forward: I am now making my third trip collecting water. This time, only ONE empty five gallon jug to fill. This time, by myself after ending the relationship. This time, living out of my car while surfing couches.
I make it back to my spot. The water is still clean, fresh and I could see to the bottom of the stream. Frogs and a dragonfly confirm the freshness. I collected my water and headed back to my car.
This was a time in my mental growth when I asked a lot of questions and I looped through many out-dated modes of thinking.
As I was questioning my purpose, a beautiful green rattle snake crossed my path. I had the water wrapped in my arms tightly, so I was afraid to stop for too long, thinking I would lose the strength it took to carry this water 5 miles back to the car.
But, I stopped anyway. The snake had stopped with the top half of its body in the shade, and the back half of its body in the sun. Literally, split itself into a perfect half, then looked at me. It was a soft look. The snake pierced my heart with love.
I began walking away. I made it about five feet past the snake when I felt it calling for me to stay. I turned around and tears fell faster than I could tell the snake I was sorry, but I had to go.
That snake changed me. My heart, it was blasted open. Go figure, the heart chakra is associated with the color green…
xoxox, rattle snake medicine