Lost, confused and suicidal, I turned to one of my closest soul mates for a way out of my distress. Together we went to our first crystal bowl healing – theta healing – drum circle. Yeah, it was LOADED.

At the circle, another close soul mate shared the story of a life time – THE story that brought me back to my love for numbers:

“I was in my car and the meter read 222. I remember that being a sign of faith but it didn’t feel so important and I ignored it. I drove around, my meter went up, and I stopped at the store. When I got back into my car, I turned in on and saw the meter back at 222. Now, I believe.”

Ok, well that story is paraphrased but you get the point, right? The Universe has a magical way of MAKING us pay attention. Although, it is all in due time and best when noticed without over-analyzing mindsets.

222 became a beacon of light. It brought me to the rest of the number sequences. It made me search for meanings and perspectives. A numerology book was quickly opened. I started asking my friends for their birthdays and middle names to create their charts. HA!

I never quite picked a meaning that felt it sat in unison with 222. Instead, I simply enjoy the presence of the idea that it can mean anything I choose to make it mean. Which brings me to a new story about 11:

I like to reduce 11 to 2, which are both my life numbers. I was driving to an observatory in Austin, Minnesota. This location had no address so I was forced to use common sense and a map to get myself and my pessimistic friend there on time. We had to get off a freeway and take the exit 2 miles before the next right turn. When we got off, I saw the mile marker 11 and choose to think “Oh! 11! My favorite number. That is a good sign!”

Well, duh it was a good sign. That sign was telling me where I was so I would know when the turn was coming up. Since I was being a foo-foo, I missed what the sign what ACTUALLY saying and drove past my turn.

Long story coming to an end…. these number signs are great as long as we stay grounded while interacting with them.

xoxox, the grounded numerologist

The Deformed Duck

I just had to stop and take a picture of this duck when I noticed it had a deformed beak. As usual, I grabbed out my phone and asked the ducks if it was okay that I took a photo to share.

As I began snapping pictures, the deformed duck’s friend decided to pose. Isn’t that extraordinary?

by Brianna Florian

People say animals know, while others say they have no idea. I like to believe that animals do know, and they know everything.

Others say animals have no egos. But, is that possible when being observed by Ego itself?

I mean, this duck literally posed for a picture. If that is not Duck Ego, then what is?

Could the deformed duck have told me no and I choose not to hear it? Could the deformed duck’s friend decided to create a distraction in order to take attention away from the already sad deformed duck’s beak?

Does anyone even care?


xoxox, what the duck

Joker – The Short Film

I wrote the screenplay for this short after thinking about the one I let get away…

He played all the cards of his heart and I was too serious to allow his love into my life. That is when he walked away and never looked back.

Originally the stack of cards was meant for the male actor to flip, but, after a few practice runs, I decided I wanted to do the flipping. I knew I could tap into the energy from the man I let get away and I did.

Eye of Horus Ace: signifying my full sight of the man I was beckoning
Flying Ace: signaling that I was ready to flow with the wind of the relationship
Shot Ace: my dying heart after he did not mirror my emotions
Broken Heart Ace: how I felt after playing all the cards of my heart
Joker Ace: my question to him
Goddess Ace: his way of showing he is not ready to accept his feminine energy, but she is there…

I wanted to keep this incredibly short 1) because y’alls attention span is so small… 2) it is a pain in the ass to try to get y’all to watch a video on youtube 3) I wanted to keep it to the point with no room to sever the emotions.

The creators:

David Cuf blessed the film with his track A New Earth. The video cuts were created before I fit the music and it was amazing to see it come together so effortlessly.

Also, a thanks to Yoni Zoldan for starring in this on such short notice and Moonshot AV for the film.

Nik Piazza created the illustration used as the featured image and this film was shot in Badlands Saloon, in Las Vegas, Nevada.


Thank you for watching and drop a comment below with your opinions!

xoxox, your favorite Creative Director

How Do I Say, You Are An Energy Vampire?

Do I start off sweet by listening to all your problems?
Can you hear my responses in your head? You know, the ones I am afraid to share out loud.
Am I safe telling you the problems you dwell on are petty?
Probably not… now I am the evil one.

What should I do when you have exhausted my energy?
Should I sleep all day and risk your thought of my laziness?
Could I leave and find a new way of life?
If I do, do I tell you…?

Do I tell you that you have poisoned each energy field that comes in contact with you?
I would hate for the truth to send you down the depression loop.
So, I don’t dare say anything.
Would you listen either way?

You are rubbing off on me and I am beginning to lose my sanity.
I stay because I get to save money and play.
But, is any of it worth becoming molded by you?
Is that what I tell you when I leave?

Could I tell you that it was my fault for falling into your trap?
My inner turmoil sent me through the forest of your emotions.
Could I be honest enough to see I blame others for the darkest parts of me?
Could I shine a light on the procrastination I feel?

I would love to be mad at you,
But I am truly only mad at me…
For taking so damn long to see,
Anything I need is created inside of me.

xoxox, good luck growing up

An Encounter With The Wolf

I was exhausted, it was dark, and I was driving on a long stretch to a hidden valley. I cannot seem to recall the thoughts I was listening to at the time. What I do remember: my need to talk out loud with no one to speak to and then…

The Wolf trotted across the highway and stopped in my lane. It looked into my eyes and stayed there. I was driving 75 mph but that was not stopping The Wolf from transferring the needed message. I let off the gas and felt no need to brake. I knew The Wolf would move just in time and be safe on the other side of the road and that is exactly what happened.

In shock and my usual panicky rollercoaster of a mindset, I decided I would listen to confusion. I may have missed the message … or I may have gotten exactly what I needed.

When I arrived at my destination, I walked in and the first conversation held was this,

“While you girls were gone I found a huge spider by your room! It was a wolf spider, can you believe that!? A huge wolf spider by your room. Good thing I found that spider while you were gone.”

And in a snap, the confusion cleared. It was a wolf, not a coyote. The Wolf stopped in front of my speeding vehicle to see me … to truly see me. Whatever The Wolf saw, I still do not know. If I followed the message, I do not know.

What I do know: that piercing eye contact with a wolf’s body will forevermore be remembered and cherished.

I now have a tattoo of a wolf emerging from the center of a rose. Within the wolf’s fur is a hidden forest. Layer upon layer, I am being revealed.

xoxox, Wolf Warrior

We Have The Power Of Choice

Thoughts are dangerous. Especially when a person chooses thoughts based upon fear, hate and competition.

I lived with those people. The irresponsible.

I faced their shadows and felt their pain. I gained their weight and took their views as my own. I have regrets. Regret deleting my posts. Regret selling my favorite items.

I compared my work and competed. I fell. Landed in the lava and burnt to a crisp.

My high spirit found a new way and a brighter day. I faced those challenges and I learned. I look back in reflection of my choices. I contemplate how I could have lived differently. I am consumed by the past.

I forget to look forward. To be grateful for what I still have and what is to come. I forget magic is real when I become numb to these thoughts.

I pray and I pray. One of these days, I will look back and see no regrets. I want to see the Gold I paint my life with.

Power is in the presence of Now.

xoxox, hello, is it me you’re looking for?

Illustration by Cielo Moreno-Garcia