They Hear Me

I cried for you in my car.

I rapped about our struggles.

I told the imaginary crowd how I wish I never left you.

But, I left to come right back.

Stronger than before.

I have the solutions to our problems.

If only you’d listen…

& you did.

You heard the roar.

I stopped the car to read a message from you wanting to know where I was.

I am in your heart…

xoxox, Big Sister, Mom & Dad

Are You Withholding Your Gold?

Do you hold back from singing and dancing in worry of be judged?

Imagine a moment where you are dancing in complete love for the music and someone laughs. Do you take it personally? Do you stop? Do you walk away?

Imagine a moment where you bolt out in song; a voice from your heart. Imagine a person interrupting to mention how “out of tone” you are. How does that feel? Does it hurt? Do you begin to judge your voice? Do you decide to stop sharing your voice?

Did you answer YES to all those questions? If so, consider this: Those judging are using their minds to manipulate their projection. Not to say there is anything wrong with controlling beautiful movements. We can all appreciate an amazing choreographed dance. I know we love hearing Alicia Keys or John Legend.

If we can love those who practice, we can love those who move through Soul. Imagine a world where we flow together. All would dance without judging their movement. All would sing from the heart.

If you have not had a chance to sing and dance with a group who loves your flow, get in contact with me. I will make it happen.

xoxox, I Feel You

Illustration from Nikki Valencia aka SoulBunni

Which Came First: Imagination or Logic?

Honest question.
I say imagination.
We created logic.
We test logic.
Logic evolves (changes).
Imagination is constant and infinite.

Hey science majors….. think about that!

xoxox, The Fact Killer

Illustration by Danielle Wendlandt

How Do I Tell Him?

How do I tell him he makes me feel what I am normally numb to? The thought of him excites me. I love to have him around.

How do I tell him I see he makes other women feel this same way…? How do I say that I am jealous?

How do I portray who I am and what he wants at the same time? How do I ask if he can stay?

What do I do when I make the same mistakes? I say the silly things that have no meaning and push him away. How do I tell him I am hurting? How do I share my heart without him falling into the dumps of my emotions?

How can I honestly announce that I am still a child pretending to adult? I am a dreamer who has lost sight of the starting line. There is no finish from here. Where I am, it is quite unclear. I know these behaviors no longer serve me, but it is the role I play. To try anything different would leave me too vulnerable.

How do I sit next to him without invading his space? Does he see what I see when we look up at the same time? Does he feel what I feel when I hope he’d be mine?

Do I tell him I am crazy? Do I suggest he run away? Do I show him my optimism that copes me through the day?

We live in different worlds that I hope could merge, because he makes me feel light like I can fly with the birds.

How could he except me when I can’t except me… the darkest parts of me that hurt to share because people stare. They don’t understand why I sing loudly out of tune or why I howl at the moon.

They are human, I cannot blame them and I cannot blame him, for not wanting to match my energy. I can blame myself for not wanting to tell him. I prefer to run away…

xoxox, to the ones that get away

Illustration by @dare_tb_diffrent

What If I Lose?

Per request from a dear friend:

Losing love is a feeling when love was never there. I hate to say it but the love was never there because if the love is there you cannot lose it, no matter how rough the times.

Why force yourself into a box created by someone else’s idea of love? It becomes difficult when we add money and third dimensional necessities into love. We throw all of these things into this box they created for us and now it’s cramped…

There is no longer room because the space is being taken up by the couch and the TV that we delicately use because of the overwhelming price. The box of love is filled with the car in the garage that may never be paid off and the house that’s forever indebted in our names.

Love has been cramped by consumption and we may never know what love is. Not until we lose it; until we lose everything… to see that love can be found when nothing else can.

xoxox the silver lining

Find Your Tribe: Soul Family

I have been faced with the idea that I have soul mates that I am undeniably connected to. Guess what, that shit scares the fuck out of me.

For me, this means as soon as I make eye contact with these people, they know it is my annoying voice in their head that never shuts up. Not only am I a chatter box, I can barely pronounce my words, my vocabulary is limited and I am dramatic.

My question is: can our soul connections change, grow or diminish?

Change– when I decide a route is no longer for me, I begin to vibrate on levels of new people. Does that make those people soul connections or simply beings with similar aspirations?

Grow– can my soul family expand as I meet new beings in this lifetime?

Diminish– could connections be cut by the power of will (thought and action)?

As you can see, I am no expert of this subject. If you have ideas, opinions or experiences, PLEASE SHARE!

xoxox, the student