What If I Lose?

Per request from a dear friend:

Losing love is a feeling when love was never there. I hate to say it but the love was never there because if the love is there you cannot lose it, no matter how rough the times.

Why force yourself into a box created by someone else’s idea of love? It becomes difficult when we add money and third dimensional necessities into love. We throw all of these things into this box they created for us and now it’s cramped…

There is no longer room because the space is being taken up by the couch and the TV that we delicately use because of the overwhelming price. The box of love is filled with the car in the garage that may never be paid off and the house that’s forever indebted in our names.

Love has been cramped by consumption and we may never know what love is. Not until we lose it; until we lose everything… to see that love can be found when nothing else can.

xoxox the silver lining

Tantric Love: Step 1

Created by The Lady Jessica and found on theladyjessica.com

Let me sit on your lap and do the work…

I am not going to pivot back and forth on your penis. Nooo babe. I would rather sit still and consciously share energy with each other. You know, balancing the chakras type of love.

How about we make it the type of love where we travel to imaginary lands in our minds together. Let’s get so high from Tantric Love that we discover the new age Narnia. But wait…that is Step 2.

Step 1 involves slow, intimate foreplay, synchronized breath and open eyes. Yikes. I am getting butterflies writing this. Considering this type of connection with another being makes me nervous. I am accustomed to attracting men who know nothing of this love (because I do not either).

Time for a shift. I want to sit on your lap and discover all the crevices in your eyes. I want to let my vagina intuitively contract and relax with the flow of energy. I neeeeeddd this.

I will no longer settle for less.

xoxox, new age love making
PS: You can find the lovely artwork from The Lady Jessica, HERE

Twin Flames: What Are They

Once a wise man in the Psychic Eye shop told one of my ‘twins’ we have more than one twin…

We were baffled! How could it be!? A twin flame is who we are meant to marry and have a family with!

Ha. Haha. We had been drinking the kool-aid.

Twin flames are soul mates. We have many, as we are connected to many people in the world and in other realms.

Sense8, the Netflix Original, is my number one reference leading me to understand this Truth.

It is sort of funny when I get hung up in devastating regret for not ‘being’ in a relationship with one of my twins. I come up with all these ideas to mentally hurt myself. Yes, I am addicted to pain.

It is a weird feeling when I broke free from the pain causers and had no one to fuel my fire…

I began looking for pieces of friends to be annoyed with. Shit, I even get mad at inanimate objects!!

I am working through it and this is a side tangent anyhow.

Twins, yes we are have them and we all have many. I truly believe a Twin is an energy we can easily connect to. I believe the power comes when we are consciously aware of who we are connecting to.

Warning: do not take my word as a reliable source. Take what fits and move on.

To be honest, my Truths change with passing moments, because, I connect to my Twins and hear their Truths. They are all relevant to me.

Weird how this all works.

xoxox, hey fam, your favorite voice is here
PS. The featured photo is painted by Shelby Pollock @ttwentytwooo

Realizing and Balancing the Feminine and Masculine

For the past year I have asked what it is that makes me run from women and gravitate toward one-track-minded men. I read The Celestine Prophecy and that question was answered…

It all dates back to my childhood. As a young girl, I was attracted to my father’s energy to fulfill what I did not know how to tap into. He left my family when I was four and I was forced to step into that energy to give my young sisters what they also needed. My mother did not like that… in her defense, she has no conscious understanding of how energy exchanges work. Nor does she know we all have the ability to tap into Source Energy, which is feminine and masculine.

I spent most of my adolescent hiding from my mother because she drained me of energy. I can finally grasp the concept of a Phoenix rising from its ashes or a cat having Nine lives.

Long story, short-ish… I still have open, deep wounds that resulted from the energy exchanges with my mother. Which is why I find it so easy to run away from feminine energy. Sometimes I feel it is impossible for me to show other women unconditional love. Honestly, I am not sure that I know what it feels like to be in feminine energy…

On top of that, because I was longing for my father to teach me what masculine energy felt like and he left… I began looking for males to complete my circle.

As I am growing in this Twin Flame Ascension journey, I have lost the idea of needing a man to complete me and I have stepping into Divine Masculine Energy. It feels more comfortable for me. I believe this is why men are easily attracted to me, because I reflect what they already have. I also believe this is why women retract from me; I reflect what they feel around men in a woman’s body…

xoxox, completing my circle


HOLY SHIT PEOPLE, I cannot express with words how REFRESHING it feels to accept feeling sadness; to accept emotions.

As soon as I acknowledge them, POOF, they disappear. Well, more like transmuted back to the light. They were felt and heard. Truly heard. Hear yourself. Listen to what you call out for.

Want to know what helped me? Talking to myself out loud…

By doing this, I am able to truly feel what it is that I am thinking about. It is easier to catch the thoughts that are looping and dissect the source.

Try it and let me know how it works out.

xoxox, challenge yourself

Unconditional Love

I love you.
I love everything about you.
I love the way you smile and the way you laugh.
I love the way you irritate me.
I love watching you walk away, even when it means I may never see you again.
I love you in the moments we spent together and the moments I created in my head.
I love how you stepped on me.
I love how it made me see; you will become a love like me.
I love the blame game and how we scream each other’s names.
I’d love you if you killed me.

That is right; because dying is nothing compared to the love between you and me.

I love how you ignore my requests.
I love how you grow with the rest.
I love when my demons are put to your test.
I love seeing you happy with her.
I love reading your words without you knowing.
I love to see what you have made without me.
I love the way you make me feel when you aren’t inside of me.
I love you from afar and I love you from within.
I love you no matter what state you are in.
I love you.

This is unconditional. This is the love that lasts a while.


xoxox, you are a piece of my heart