He asked me to help move stuff from his apartment above mine into his new place. Sweet guy he is. Of course I agreed.
In the moving van he laughed and said “I assumed you were asleep because it was quite.”
I wanted to pretend I did not know what he was speaking of. I wanted to act like my thoughts are not as fucking loud as they are.
Who was I kidding? I knew for a damn fact he was not talking about the amount I spoke out loud, because that was none. I kept to myself in that apartment room. I never played music. Occasionally I spoke to my snake, Seshat, but never out loud.
He confirmed one of my fears…strangers can hear my thoughts
xoxox, the habitual thinker
True Statement: when you begin to gain weight and you stop sending loving energy to that part of your body, it gets worse!!!
First of all, this ridiculous self image needs to be let go of. It is a marketing scam to steal your souls and sell you the gym, equipment, more expensive food that is grown the same way, clothes that are just as bad as the food and other unnecessary items of consumption.
On some magical shit: I was laying in bed with my hands covering my boobs (they were smaller at the time) and I said, “I want these to be bigger.” WITH IN A LIGHT YEAR, which is unbelievably fast, these mother fucking boobs grew to meet the surface of my palms.
I was freaked out and I told them to go back down….careful what you ask for!
Anyhow, I have a new practice. I am telling all the pesky parts of my body that I love them. I am also asking them to grow stronger and healthier. Quantum physics baby. Get with it.
xoxox, that crazy Witch
Illustration from Nikki Valencia aka SoulBunni
She was crying to me; she told me all the issues in her relationship. She told me her family was in a depression and she had to take care of her younger sister. She told me how she had given up her creative craft to be the woman of the house. I cried. She sobbed. I tried to hug her. She was numb to physical nurturing.
I left. I drove to work. I could have filled Lake Mead with the tears I cried. I begged and pleaded to any angels listening to send her love, light and a way she can support herself and her sister. I wiped my eyes. I walked into work.
I saw her the next day. She was glowing. A previous employer called offering the opportunity of a life time. She hugged me and walked away. I cried with gratitude.
I have not seen her since…I have a feeling she choose the road of challenges…
Your prayers are heard; positive or negative. Please be careful of what you wish upon another. We can all use the blessings and less of the hate. Think about it; the more blessings you send. The more you will receive.
When I left a guy I dated for two years, I was lost and confused. I needed answers. He gave me some, but it was not enough to fill the cracks in my mind where The Wild Things wonder.
As time passed and I let go of the idea of hearing from him what I hoped to understand, I began to meet guys like him. Some had the same name, some with the same tone of voice, others with similar desires and one with similar trauma. Through these men, I learned who he was.
I learned who I was. I saw what attracted me to him. I saw myself and now I have seen how much I have grown.
This is why I no longer fret when an acquaintance makes a comment that I do not understand. I have stopped the loop of over thinking. I allow my mind to hold a place for the answer to arrive at the right time.
I use to mentally drain myself regretting the questions I never asked. (Because of an obsession for Truth) Now I realize I have two options:
Leave my pride behind to ASK
Patiently wait for the answer to arrive without exhausting energy wondering what it could be
Lemme tell ya, it was NOT an easy ride. In fact, I was stuck on a one loop roller coaster and the conductor left forgetting I was aboard. I had to figure out how to unfasten the belt and fly.
xoxox, every day I’m learning
I was a confused mess. My only direction was back home; Vegas from LA. No money. No one to call. I convinced myself I could make it home with 1 gallon in my gas tank and $11 to fill up.
I attempted to “magically” force gas into my tank…ha if only…
I stopped at the gas station. Grabbed the cash and waited as the homeless man walked to my car to ask. 1 dollar was going to make no difference to the fact that I was going to end up stranded.
“Excuse me miss, could you spare some change?”
I grabbed the dollar. I handed it over with my eyes showing pain.
“God Bless You” he said as he walked away.
“10 dollars on 2 please. Thank you.”
Nozzle in car, I allowed the gas to pump, and it never stopped……..my entire tank was full….from 10 dollars…..
I cried the Pacific Ocean. I felt guilty. WTF could I have done to deserve that magic!?
Now, I am paying it forward by sharing with you. The possibilities are endless. Stay humble.