If I were asked what thought hurts the most, it would be “you need to stop everything you are doing and surrender.” Ouch.
I admire the beings who are incredible light workers. I admire them so much that I am inspired to step in their shoes. Until I hear surrender. The mere thought brings me into a downhill spiral. Crazy, right? I have had people tell me that I am making excuses, I am ignoring my higher self and I am over thinking.
All are true, in some dimension. In my own, my inner child REFUSES to allow me to move on without her being acknowledged. She craves to feel free in creativity. She cannot stand competition and the idea of art for validation.
Surrender. The word sounds so much easier than what it is. I do not feel ready to let go of Ego. One day I will be ready. I can no longer judge myself for being where I am presently at. I know, when the stars align, I will be on a mountain under complete control of Divine Will. One day…
Until then, I will allow my skin to stretch and I will Love the growing pains
xoxox, I can make it if I try