P ac ing

A poem for the rats lost in the race

Rat race
at race
Chased by thoughts
Slapped in the face

Jaded from knowledge
Chasing themes
That seems they have more meaning
In the grand scheme

Cream cheese and jalapeños
A go to when I’m low-
er than usual
Grace by God
I nod
So God…

“Show me the way”
Keeps them in a haze
Crazed. Amazed.
What did they say?

Hey. Hey. You fucking up babe.
Higher more interesting experiences,
above babe
Come with us, we’ll show you the way

Dang, I am attached to the maze
The ideas
The thoughts
The feels, I crave

Maybe one day…

xoxox, saving Grace

An Encounter With The Wolf

I was exhausted, it was dark, and I was driving on a long stretch to a hidden valley. I cannot seem to recall the thoughts I was listening to at the time. What I do remember: my need to talk out loud with no one to speak to and then…

The Wolf trotted across the highway and stopped in my lane. It looked into my eyes and stayed there. I was driving 75 mph but that was not stopping The Wolf from transferring the needed message. I let off the gas and felt no need to brake. I knew The Wolf would move just in time and be safe on the other side of the road and that is exactly what happened.

In shock and my usual panicky rollercoaster of a mindset, I decided I would listen to confusion. I may have missed the message … or I may have gotten exactly what I needed.

When I arrived at my destination, I walked in and the first conversation held was this,

“While you girls were gone I found a huge spider by your room! It was a wolf spider, can you believe that!? A huge wolf spider by your room. Good thing I found that spider while you were gone.”

And in a snap, the confusion cleared. It was a wolf, not a coyote. The Wolf stopped in front of my speeding vehicle to see me … to truly see me. Whatever The Wolf saw, I still do not know. If I followed the message, I do not know.

What I do know: that piercing eye contact with a wolf’s body will forevermore be remembered and cherished.

I now have a tattoo of a wolf emerging from the center of a rose. Within the wolf’s fur is a hidden forest. Layer upon layer, I am being revealed.

xoxox, Wolf Warrior

We Have The Power Of Choice

Thoughts are dangerous. Especially when a person chooses thoughts based upon fear, hate and competition.

I lived with those people. The irresponsible.

I faced their shadows and felt their pain. I gained their weight and took their views as my own. I have regrets. Regret deleting my posts. Regret selling my favorite items.

I compared my work and competed. I fell. Landed in the lava and burnt to a crisp.

My high spirit found a new way and a brighter day. I faced those challenges and I learned. I look back in reflection of my choices. I contemplate how I could have lived differently. I am consumed by the past.

I forget to look forward. To be grateful for what I still have and what is to come. I forget magic is real when I become numb to these thoughts.

I pray and I pray. One of these days, I will look back and see no regrets. I want to see the Gold I paint my life with.

Power is in the presence of Now.

xoxox, hello, is it me you’re looking for?

Illustration by Cielo Moreno-Garcia

What Do They See?

I know I am not the “pretty girl”

Internal goof ball wrapped in wires
Their perceptions; my attire

Now my younger sisters have topped me
Weird because that use to be me
And it seems they don’t see me

It might be the new look in my Eye

 

xoxox, blinding them with my shine

Illustration by Nikki Valencia aka SoulBunni

I Don’t Owe You Anything

I told you the day you offered your space;
My place was the couch.
No, no you insisted I slept on the spare bed;
Not to dread, you were emotionally detached too.
What that meant for me was not what it meant for you.
You see, for me, that meant safety.
It meant a place I could be. Just be. Simply.
Boundaries were set, yet, not clear enough.
My head, not sure enough, of myself.
Lo and behold, you stole my dream and painted in black.
Cast a safety net…
Over my head and now I cannot breath;
But I cannot see a better way out of here.
Your voices justify my terrible sense to deny you.
Terrible, they say, when all I want is to walk away.
Without giving you a damn thing;
Because I let down my walls,
Only to be ashamed.

xoxox, the fallen goddess

Illustration by Nikki Valencia aka SoulBunni

LITERALLY, Love Your Body, Please

True Statement: when you begin to gain weight and you stop sending loving energy to that part of your body, it gets worse!!!

First of all, this ridiculous self image needs to be let go of. It is a marketing scam to steal your souls and sell you the gym, equipment, more expensive food that is grown the same way, clothes that are just as bad as the food and other unnecessary items of consumption.

On some magical shit: I was laying in bed with my hands covering my boobs (they were smaller at the time) and I said, “I want these to be bigger.” WITH IN A LIGHT YEAR, which is unbelievably fast, these mother fucking boobs grew to meet the surface of my palms.

I was freaked out and I told them to go back down….careful what you ask for!

Anyhow, I have a new practice. I am telling all the pesky parts of my body that I love them. I am also asking them to grow stronger and healthier. Quantum physics baby. Get with it.

xoxox, that crazy Witch

Illustration from Nikki Valencia aka SoulBunni