P ac ing

A poem for the rats lost in the race

Rat race
at race
Chased by thoughts
Slapped in the face

Jaded from knowledge
Chasing themes
That seems they have more meaning
In the grand scheme

Cream cheese and jalapeños
A go to when I’m low-
er than usual
Grace by God
I nod
So God…

“Show me the way”
Keeps them in a haze
Crazed. Amazed.
What did they say?

Hey. Hey. You fucking up babe.
Higher more interesting experiences,
above babe
Come with us, we’ll show you the way

Dang, I am attached to the maze
The ideas
The thoughts
The feels, I crave

Maybe one day…

xoxox, saving Grace


Lost, confused and suicidal, I turned to one of my closest soul mates for a way out of my distress. Together we went to our first crystal bowl healing – theta healing – drum circle. Yeah, it was LOADED.

At the circle, another close soul mate shared the story of a life time – THE story that brought me back to my love for numbers:

“I was in my car and the meter read 222. I remember that being a sign of faith but it didn’t feel so important and I ignored it. I drove around, my meter went up, and I stopped at the store. When I got back into my car, I turned in on and saw the meter back at 222. Now, I believe.”

Ok, well that story is paraphrased but you get the point, right? The Universe has a magical way of MAKING us pay attention. Although, it is all in due time and best when noticed without over-analyzing mindsets.

222 became a beacon of light. It brought me to the rest of the number sequences. It made me search for meanings and perspectives. A numerology book was quickly opened. I started asking my friends for their birthdays and middle names to create their charts. HA!

I never quite picked a meaning that felt it sat in unison with 222. Instead, I simply enjoy the presence of the idea that it can mean anything I choose to make it mean. Which brings me to a new story about 11:

I like to reduce 11 to 2, which are both my life numbers. I was driving to an observatory in Austin, Minnesota. This location had no address so I was forced to use common sense and a map to get myself and my pessimistic friend there on time. We had to get off a freeway and take the exit 2 miles before the next right turn. When we got off, I saw the mile marker 11 and choose to think “Oh! 11! My favorite number. That is a good sign!”

Well, duh it was a good sign. That sign was telling me where I was so I would know when the turn was coming up. Since I was being a foo-foo, I missed what the sign what ACTUALLY saying and drove past my turn.

Long story coming to an end…. these number signs are great as long as we stay grounded while interacting with them.

xoxox, the grounded numerologist

Joker – The Short Film

I wrote the screenplay for this short after thinking about the one I let get away…

He played all the cards of his heart and I was too serious to allow his love into my life. That is when he walked away and never looked back.

Originally the stack of cards was meant for the male actor to flip, but, after a few practice runs, I decided I wanted to do the flipping. I knew I could tap into the energy from the man I let get away and I did.

Eye of Horus Ace: signifying my full sight of the man I was beckoning
Flying Ace: signaling that I was ready to flow with the wind of the relationship
Shot Ace: my dying heart after he did not mirror my emotions
Broken Heart Ace: how I felt after playing all the cards of my heart
Joker Ace: my question to him
Goddess Ace: his way of showing he is not ready to accept his feminine energy, but she is there…

I wanted to keep this incredibly short 1) because y’alls attention span is so small… 2) it is a pain in the ass to try to get y’all to watch a video on youtube 3) I wanted to keep it to the point with no room to sever the emotions.

The creators:

David Cuf blessed the film with his track A New Earth. The video cuts were created before I fit the music and it was amazing to see it come together so effortlessly.

Also, a thanks to Yoni Zoldan for starring in this on such short notice and Moonshot AV for the film.

Nik Piazza created the illustration used as the featured image and this film was shot in Badlands Saloon, in Las Vegas, Nevada.


Thank you for watching and drop a comment below with your opinions!

xoxox, your favorite Creative Director

Are You Withholding Your Gold?

Do you hold back from singing and dancing in worry of be judged?

Imagine a moment where you are dancing in complete love for the music and someone laughs. Do you take it personally? Do you stop? Do you walk away?

Imagine a moment where you bolt out in song; a voice from your heart. Imagine a person interrupting to mention how “out of tone” you are. How does that feel? Does it hurt? Do you begin to judge your voice? Do you decide to stop sharing your voice?

Did you answer YES to all those questions? If so, consider this: Those judging are using their minds to manipulate their projection. Not to say there is anything wrong with controlling beautiful movements. We can all appreciate an amazing choreographed dance. I know we love hearing Alicia Keys or John Legend.

If we can love those who practice, we can love those who move through Soul. Imagine a world where we flow together. All would dance without judging their movement. All would sing from the heart.

If you have not had a chance to sing and dance with a group who loves your flow, get in contact with me. I will make it happen.

xoxox, I Feel You

Illustration from Nikki Valencia aka SoulBunni

Secur-illusion; When It All Falls Down

You’ve made your safe place a home and it is all you have known.
I have made my safe place a car because it is what I own.
We have a place of peace
And a sheltered war zone
In these places rest every thought we’ve ever put to the test
We think freely, lucidly
With the awareness of illusionary security
We are not grateful
Oblivion floats over our head and under the roofs of these places we sleep
With no regard of what could come to reap what we sow
And, in the blink of an eye, it is all gone

Did we ever stop to realize that security is the largest lie?
With that lie, have we ever begun to look for home in the eyes of another?
A home in the name of Love
A place we can rely on, as long, as we can see past the rituals of monogamy…

When we lost our security, did we pray for the blessings of that day?

We are breathing.
A new chapter has begun.
A test from Earth School
A shamanistic initiation into the realm of free thinking

In faith, you shall thirst, hungry, and need security no longer

xoxox, keep your eye open

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

We’ve all been told it is the journey that counts, and The Alchemist gives this philosophy a beautiful story to match that. Here are my favorite quotes, take them for what you will:

“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”

“I only invoked what you already knew.”

“When you are loved you can do anything in creation.”

“The winds know everything. They blow across the world without a birth place and without a place to die”

“If a person is living out his Personal Legend, he knows everything he needs to know.”

“Anyone who interferes with the Personal Legend of another being will never discover his own.”

“Your eyes show the strength of your soul.”

“Every search begins with beginners luck and every search ends with the victors being severely tested.”

“The desert tests all men: it challenges every step, and kills those who become distracted.”

I would love to know which quote speaks to you and what it says. Please share in the comments below.

xoxox, beginners luck