Why Did I Post It?

Drawn by Shelby Pollock

It wasn’t for me.
It was for their eyes to see.
To see…me?
A part of me that I don’t want to see.
A part of me that was molded by beliefs.
A part of me that drags the curtain open kicking and screaming.

They don’t see me.
They see what they want to see.
Why do I post selfies?
Haven’t y’all seen enough of me!?
Shit, I am not quite that pretty;
And my messages not all that inspiring.

Excuse me, as I feel the darkness within the choices I’ve made.
The boundaries I’ve used to play cops and robbers.
But a cop is no good without weapons;
And a robber has nothing to lose.

I fell hard.
Almost, departed from thee.
Thee beloved.
The one who can see;
The one who has never taken his eyes off of me.

xoxox, forgetful fairy

Lonely Eyes

He watches me, when it is convenient for his mind. His word play is amateur, but his vibes scream they need a nurturer. I wonder in his darkness. I call his name. I sweetly begin to play his game. I abandoned myself. He calls me what he wants and he calls me when he needs; pleasure seems to be all I can give in these sheets. I am not hurting until his hurting finds me. I roamed upon his glass crystal. I saw all the sights I could see; all the suppressed memories. He seems to be a lot like me; like I was, before transmuting become a favorite pastime. Now I am past mine. Past the humps I piled up. Only to be caught in a maze. For a man who is hazed on the truth of the role I play. To my dismay, I did not help when I played his game. I made it worse. I added to the hurst. A grey area the waves cannot seem to wash away. I let him win this games of his, cause, in the end, I could never win. Winning puts me above. How could I rise above when I find myself below him?

xoxox, the broken-hearted

#ThisIsOurs Creative Contest

They say the city never sleeps; 
Why do I see the sleep waking?
I am asked what I like the best of this place I call home
I pondered and picked at the good and the bad
I looked up to see all of the sad
Thinking to myself, what is it that keeps us this way?
Why are we depressed?
Why are we mad?
With my head to the ground, thoughts whirl winded my mind
And just in time they cleared for me to hear
“It is the walking”
Always in a rush to go and get somewhere
Darkness ringing in ears 
Telling you of places you outta drive to
Telling you the grass is greener
And the belief is of another side
Climbing a mountain that doesn’t exist 
Caught in the mist of a kiss missed 
You fled from the moment
Afraid to catch feels 
Hup one, hup two put your weight on them heels
Runaway my love
To a far land
La la la la
I’ll sing as you walk away…
They asked me what I love about this place I call home
I tell them I love singing to the tune of their walking shoes 

I was asked by Ours Unlimited to enter their creative contest. The asked for a submission that shows what I enjoy about the Vegas community. I decided to show and tell…

Originally, I was going to put together a video of feet walking with a local artist’s song. When he did not respond, I knew I couldn’t make this video with stock sound from YouTube. I laid in bed and came up with these words; a true description of how I feel about Vegas. I feel for those of you in a rush but I enjoy the breeze you leave to guide my whistles. Crazy how I ended up with shots that matched what I wrote. Lemme tell ya… I didn’t pay any mind to the videos I recorded, nor did I put any extra thinking into the words I wrote. Both were organic seeds that sprouted into this work of Art. Enjoy.

xoxox, the enthusiast