I See You

We were both taught to suck it up
Taught to take their shit
Hear their opinions
Feel their pain

We were both taught to keep our mouths shut
To jump when told
To shut up
To sit up

What is the difference between us?
You have let the silence be engrained into your soul
I refuse the silence
I have a voice to be used
I have an opinion to be shared
I have love far deeper than the scars they left

I feel sorrow for you
Knowing you were once a lighthouse for those lost in their emotions
Knowing you still are, occasionally
You are in heart
You dimmed your light to be obedient
Now you silently scream to those you see lost; but they cannot hear you
If only they could see you…

 

xoxox, where’d you go?

Growing Pains

If I were asked what thought hurts the most, it would be “you need to stop everything you are doing and surrender.”          Ouch.

I admire the beings who are incredible light workers. I admire them so much that I am inspired to step in their shoes. Until I hear surrender. The mere thought brings me into a downhill spiral. Crazy, right? I have had people tell me that I am making excuses, I am ignoring my higher self and I am over thinking.

All are true, in some dimension. In my own, my inner child REFUSES to allow me to move on without her being acknowledged. She craves to feel free in creativity. She cannot stand competition and the idea of art for validation.

Surrender. The word sounds so much easier than what it is. I do not feel ready to let go of Ego. One day I will be ready. I can no longer judge myself for being where I am presently at. I know, when the stars align, I will be on a mountain under complete control of Divine Will. One day…

Until then, I will allow my skin to stretch and I will Love the growing pains

xoxox, I can make it if I try