Damn.

We all want to be seen for what we cannot see. The way we push for likes and allow hands to rub on our bodies. We are hurting, deep down under the sea. Sea of emotions, repressed, not released. A sea in a jar; a never ending dream.

Know that I see you. I will know that you see me. We can let go of the ideas of physicality. There is much more beyond what two eyes are trained to see.

There is magic within you and me. There is a magic that lives beyond sight, and fear never rises. There is a magic that flows freely. No sea in the jar, for all to see. We will feel. Feel what is beyond sight. Feel what brings us to flight. Always in the right place at the right time; as time will vanish when you move freely.

 

xoxox, rooted in the Unseen

Illustration by Mari @sweatykid

Ode To The Confused

Dazzled by the wonders of this world. Engaged in every moment. Vicariously living every life. Somehow, lost in a liver pool of possibilities. The “ohhh, what ever shall I be?” When you spend energy looping what could be done. What are you doing? Nothing? Make a move; two or three. See. See what these ideas have in store for you. Try everything three times, in three different places, with three different mind sets. Good, neutral, bad. Can you do it? Can you feel all sides? Can you give it a try? Think about this, not one damn idea is permanent. You can leave anything you have begun. You steer the ship. You lay the pavement as you walk. If you have thought about doing it three times or more, in three different places, give it a go!!! Take the steps to make it! If you find yourself in limitations of why you cannot be where you would like to. Change course. Do something that fits where your life is now. Believe in magic. Believe there are possibilities beyond your own imagination. You can, and will, be whatever your heart desires. Choose wisely. Once your decision is made, look forward. Always look forward. Give it three times before you decide it is no longer for you. Most importantly, know your thoughts. Know the thoughts that make you feel gloom. Know the thoughts you are afraid of. Know the thoughts that bring joy. Know you control your reaction to the thoughts. Know you are on to something magnificent when a negative thought appears. Know you are being tested. If you want something that is beyond your current reach, you must work for it. You will be challenged. Show discipline in the fields you wish to thrive in. The Spirit Guides love discipline. Try not to be like me… ranting and raving in my mind about all the wonderful careers I could choose. Straining my brain imagining what steps must be taken for an outcome. I find myself looking at Step 23 when I am standing on Step 4. The process is where the fun comes out to play. The process will get you recognized. The process become the stories you tell your children. Take the steps, and know, you can always walk down and start up another staircase. Here is a little secret; occasionally the staircases intertwine…

xoxox, your guide through the haze

Escapism

Ever become unenchanted with this human experience?  I get angry, exhausted and begin to act insane. I want to run. Dear God, I want to escape. As if a new place will magically heal all the wounds I have accumulated.

I am wise enough to understand I cannot run. I was taught in all my nightmares… the anxiety was always a leap behind me. One wrong move and I would be swallowed whole. Of course, I had dreams where I had gotten away. I have flown out of situations. Shape shifted to fit through cracks in windows. What I never did was turn and face the adversary.

I was feeling courageous last summer. I decided it was time to risk it. To try something I never have before…living in my car in… Los Angeles. Thank God I choose that city. Turns out, it is common to live in vehicles there. The nightmares ceased. I was no longer running.

It has been well over a year since the last nightmare. Yet, it has not gotten easier. The pain with facing my Shadow has brought me to my knees begging I be swept off of this earth. When that doesn’t happen, I imagine myself living alone on a mountain. None of these earthy worries in my head.

Escaping.

Is it escape? Is it surrender? Is it insanity? I suppose it depends on how I look at it. Maybe one day, I will feel free within myself. One day I will see the cage’s door was never closed.

xoxox, peacefully mourning